When Your Body Feels Unfamiliar: Perimenopause, Massage & Coming Home to Yourself

There is a particular kind of frustration that can come with perimenopause.

You can wake up one day and feel like the body you've lived in your entire life has suddenly changed the rules.

Maybe your shoulder hurts for seemingly no reason.

Maybe you're lying awake at 3 a.m. even though you're exhausted.

Maybe your internal thermostat seems to have developed a mind of its own.

Your hair may change. Your weight may change. Your energy may change. Anxiety can seemingly come out of nowhere.

And sometimes you look at yourself and think:

When did my body become so unfamiliar to me?

I understand that feeling not only as a massage therapist who works with women, but as a woman moving through perimenopause myself.

And one thing I've learned is that we need to talk about it.

Women Need Other Women

There is something powerful that happens when women start sharing their lived experiences.

One woman says, “Wait, THAT happened to you too?”

And suddenly something she has been quietly worrying about doesn't feel quite so lonely.

Healthcare is an important part of navigating this stage of life, and there are wonderful providers helping women understand their options. There are also times when women leave appointments with unanswered questions or feel like what they're experiencing hasn't been fully heard.

That's one reason I believe so deeply in women sharing their experiences with one another.

I learn from the women who come into my studio.

They learn from me.

We learn from each other.

There's wisdom in that exchange.

Before I Work With Your Body, I Want to Know How It Feels to Live in It

When you come into my studio, we don't have to immediately rush you onto the massage table.

There is space to arrive.

Tell me what's happening.

Tell me that you haven't slept.

Tell me your shoulder is driving you crazy.

Tell me you're hot.

Tell me you're overwhelmed.

Tell me you don't recognize yourself right now.

You don't have to show up polished.

You don't have to pretend you're embracing every beautiful stage of womanhood.

Sometimes perimenopause doesn't feel beautiful.

Sometimes it feels messy and frustrating and exhausting.

You are allowed to show up there, too.

Being heard doesn't magically change what's happening in your body.

But I believe there is something deeply nurturing about having a space where you can simply say:

This is what it feels like to be me today.

And then we begin there.

Massage Isn't Going to “Fix” Perimenopause

I want to be very clear about this.

I don't believe massage is going to balance your hormones, cure your symptoms or replace appropriate medical care.

What massage can offer is something different.

Time to receive.

Time to notice your body.

Time for tired muscles to be cared for.

Time to slow down.

Time when you aren't responsible for taking care of anyone else.

Depending on what you're needing that day, our session might include therapeutic massage, warmth, aromatherapy, Acutonics tuning forks, quiet, affirmations or a simple ritual designed to help you reconnect with yourself.

And sometimes what you need is simply a really nurturing massage.

There is nothing small about that.

Your Body Isn't Betraying You. It's Changing.

This is something I come back to again and again.

The way we speak to our bodies matters.

It's incredibly easy during perimenopause to look at everything that's changing and become angry with your body.

Why can't you sleep?

Why does this hurt?

Why are you so tired?

Why don't you look the way you used to?

Why can't you just cooperate?

But what happens if, even occasionally, we become curious instead?

What are you asking for?

What feels different?

Where are you depleted?

What do you need more of?

What do you need less of?

Getting quiet enough to notice those answers can help us become more aware of what we may need to ask for in the rest of our lives, too.

More rest.

More boundaries.

More pleasure.

More support.

More time.

Maybe less doing.

Maybe less apologizing.

Maybe less trying to be the woman we were ten years ago.

You're Becoming Someone, Too

I sometimes incorporate simple rituals or affirmations into my work because I think there's another part of perimenopause that doesn't get talked about enough.

We're not only experiencing physical changes.

We're growing into another version of ourselves.

And rather than spending this entire season trying desperately to get back to the woman we used to be, there can also be an opportunity to become curious about the woman we're growing into.

What does she need?

What does she no longer want to carry?

What matters to her now?

There can be grief in change.

But there can be wisdom there, too.

A Little Homecoming

That's ultimately what I want my studio to feel like.

A place where you don't have to have everything figured out.

A place where your changing body isn't a problem that needs to be solved before it deserves care.

A place where you can receive nurturing touch, breathe, soften, talk if you want to, be quiet if you want to, and simply show up exactly as you are.

Massage can't make perimenopause disappear.

But perhaps it can give you a place to reconnect with yourself while you're moving through it.

A little homecoming.

Again and again.

If you're navigating perimenopause and looking for nurturing, personalized massage and bodywork on California's Central Coast, you're welcome here.

Come exactly as you are.

Lindy 💙